sacred-portal:

mzcain27:

I think game studios should just release their character creators online. For the times when I don’t wanna play the whole game, just the lil dress up part

arcnoise:

arcnoise:

some time ago i introduced the phrase “food pact” to my friends as a shorthand for “i’ll go make and eat food if you also make and eat food” and ever since then ive just started incorporating more pacts into my life. stay hydrated pact. stretch break pact. stop doomscrolling and go to bed pact. we need to bring this back in vogue more people should be making pacts imo

the best part of this is when you ask “who wants to do a shower pact” and you get a half dozen friends all rolling up saying “the pact is sealed”. faustian behavior

headspace-hotel:

starry-genome:

digitaldiscipline:

cassandrasimplex:

cassandrasimplex:

I knew having Redditors cross-train on Tumblr would produce weird fucking magic.

It gets better. This Redditor went the full Goncharov.

Glorbcharov: Dishonor Among AI Thieves

Y’all missed the best part:

Category 5 Glup Shitto event

sinus-lacrimarum:

landscaping-your-mind:

pathtrick:

i have witnessed unspeakable horrors . the horrors weren’t undescribable or anything, i just had to sign an NDA

@vague-magnus-archives

melangedmess:

babygirl I can feel guilty in ways you can’t even imagine

miiilowo:

miiilowo:

i wish i could infinitely regenerate my body parts so i could explode into viscera for dramatic effect whenever something mildly upsetting occurs

ideally this would incentivize people to never piss me off so they dont have to deal with scraping my 7th pair of lungs off the ceiling

battlecrazed-axe-mage:

orphanedsource:

battlecrazed-axe-mage:

I’ve acquired a creature that stares at you no matter which direction you look at it from

I’m hypnotized 

Oh my GOSH I love <3333

electricgnu:

The fucking job market is abysmal

objektum:

There’s something quite charming about relatively small objects that are way heavier than they look. ooohh you’re one dense little freak aren’t you

reallyreallyreallytrying:

having cousins is a great way to add some supporting characters to your life without needing to explain their motivations. they’re just cousins

carrionvalentine-moved:

carrionvalentine-moved:

chris fleming is funny because he looks like someone forced a jc penney mannequin to watch sex and the city 57 times in a row and left it on the front doorstep of a gay bar, but you listen to him talk and recount his experiences and he sounds like arthur dent discovering that he’s bi at 31, like i could hit chris fleming with a sledgehammer and he’d get up and be like “well what the fuck is this, a home depot?”

hey so were y'all gonna tell me chris fleming had a tumblr or was i just supposed to find that out that he reblogged this after waking up from a 5 hour nap like some sort of groggy soon-to-be-hired on the spot court jester

prohaloplayer:

fixed a problem at work that i vaguely saw a manager fix once and i did it faster which means that i get to take his skin i get to take his skin i get to take his skin i get to take his skin i get to take his skin i get to take his skin

girlkakashi:

severance +  american nightmares: the haunted house formula in american popular fiction